Hi fam. Me again.

Does anyone else have a very introverted personality but somehow landed an executive, extroverted career position? Because, same. And boy is it exhausting.

One thing I have learned since living on my own for the first time {in my life}, is that the house can be extremely quiet. Like eerily, haunted movie quiet. Which can be very daunting in the middle of the night, but somehow so comforting when I am coming home after my 9 to 5. It’s almost the same comfort as taking your bra off at the end of a long day.

Is that depression? Is that normal? Am I just a bitch now a days?

Anyways, to help my working blues and ponder what the hell I’m doing with my life, I have made a stupid little outlet of editing and making template documents. I find this an outlet because when I’m feeling extremely burnout at my current position, I like to fancy up my resume and dream about when the perfect job falls into my lap and I am happy forever.

Can someone confirm if those exist? Or is this existential dread going to last forever and feel as if I am just working myself into my grave?

Point of this story is, what’s your take on these? I hope to create different styles as well.

I also want to preface that one of the best and worst coping skills I used to ‘deal’ with my divorce was to pick up extra shifts at work. I mean, like 60+ hours a week and working on the weekend to catch up. It worked perfectly because by the time I got home and was ready to have downtime, I was so exhausted so it was straight to bed. However, that also meant that after about four months straight of this type of work, I felt more burnout and work fatigue than I think is normal at my age. So I started to cut back my work time and doing things that I actually enjoyed in my spare time – however, that also gave me time to think. The mind can find interesting pathways when you have time to really, actually think.

“The mind can find interesting pathways when you have time to really, actually think.”

And some of those pathways can be dark and scary. Some of them can make you feel really bad about yourself, your actions and how you treated others. Although, some can make you feel validated and safe, that you did not deserve what you went through and your feelings are meaningful. It just all depends on the day and how much time is spent just me, myself and my mind.

So, again, I’m not sure why I am here. I am not sure why I feel that strangers want to hear about my life on the internet, and if nobody does that’s just fine too. No different than a personal journal if that was the case. I just get to be a little more creative and I think that is just fine. 🙂

Tata for now little turds,

❤ Double D