Girls, gargoyles, and barblies: grab a drink and let’s dive in.

Have I met the ‘love of my life’?

Now, I know what you are saying. “But girl, this is a divorce blog! We strive for the steamy moments!”

And let me tell you, there are still plenty of them. If you are following along with the My Life is a Simulation chapters, then soon, this will all make sense.

But for now, I HAVE TO GET IT OUT TO YOU.

So let’s start from the beginning.

Wild Queen (new character unlock; soon to be introduced) and I were hanging out on a Friday evening, after work, and I was so ready for bed. My body hurt, I was high as hell, and she was just supposed to come over for a light drink and girl talk.

However, soon to be known about Wild Queen, it’s never just a light drink.

“..it’s never just a light drink.”

She came over, dressed to the moon, for a night out.

Wild Queen, tonight is not the night, I begged.

No matter how hard I tried, somehow she convinced me. “I look hot, I am not wasting it on a night in“.

So out we went. I never like to go out without a little liquid encouragement, We started pregaming with wine and weed, and before long, I didn’t mind going out anymore.

We started at the grand ole SpeakEasy, (see Chapter 4), and I was feeling myself a little.

However, as it always goes with Wild Queen, as soon as we entered the SpeakEasy, drama entered.

“Oh my god, Comedy Drama is here.“

Okay?? As if she did not know he comes here every night after work??

So now I was annoyed. Why were we really at the SpeakEasy?

We get drinks and I think I notice someone I recognize sitting by a man wearing heart shaped glasses. The man was absolutely so fucking hot, sipping a hot mug of something and off by himself. It’s just a split second, but I make myself a mental note to look back and see who it is.

We get to the bar and as soon as we order a drink, Princess Peach walks in.

Now Princess Peach and Comedy Drama are, do I even use the word dating? They have a tumultuous relationship. Wild Queen started to panic. She hates that they are together, why you ask? Ask again later.

“Why the fuck is she here?”

I don’t know! It’s a big small town! Why are we even at the SpeakEasy!

Were all the things I should have said. Instead, I said, let’s go say hi!

So here we are all, Comedy Drama’s baby mama, his current fling, and little ole me. Oh, to make it better, Comedy Drama himself walks into our little group, smiles at us all, and starts to make small talk. Meanwhile, Wild Queen is pissed at ME for inviting us over.

This is where things get obviously a little dramatic, and tense.

The person I recognized earlier happens to be a work acquaintance of mine, from my daily workplace. She bounces over and says hi to everyone in the group, literally.

What in the world?

“Oh yeah, Comedy Drama is my roommate and I know these girls from being over with him..”

“At this point, I felt it was time to go home.”

Excuse me. This is the point of the night when I felt it was time to go home.

After a little chatting with her about too many workplace things, I got the nerve to ask before I left: Who’s that cute guy you were standing with? With the glasses?

“Oh, that’s my roommate too!”

You’re absolutely shitting me, I cannot make this stuff up. It’s as if the writers of whatever little tv show I’m a side cast of wanted to make sure I stayed in the plot, so thank you I guess?

Anyways, as my usual twisted self, I say out loud, He is so cute.

The entire group, as they all knew him (or now should I say, the entire CAST) said in unison, “Omg go talk to him!”

What!!! That cool dude!! No way, I was not going to talk to him. I was ready for bed before going out, I was not in my prime.

However, before I knew it, my friend had her arm through mine and we were going to talk to him.

I was so nervous. What were we doing! What was I doing, men are my specialty and I usually know all the pickup lines. But, as if I have never spoke to another human being in my life, the first thing I blurted out after she introduced us was, We think you’re so cute!

Why this was the first thing I said still haunts me.

However, he invited me to sit down and we chatted for a little while. His smile was intoxicating and his pink heart shaped glasses framed his face so well. He had a thick full beard and laughed at what I said. The way I felt when we talked was out of a book.

His words came smooth but the more I talked, the more I gabbed (thanks mom) and ended up leaving the conversation saying how tired I was and that my body hurt?! (Readers, please help me with my social skills).

Thinking I had blown it, he still asked for my number. 😉

Stay tuned for pt 2, lovers.

Tata for now,

❤ Double D